Destination Inspiration

March 2008

W.O.M.A.N.

By Lisbeth Anne Marín

Motivational Speaker

Professional Development Consultant

Our typical days include challenging chore lists, passels of things to do, appointments to keep and obstacles to overcome.  On most days you’ll find me checking tasks off my list at warp speed; doing, going, picking and putting.  Maintaining the responsibilities of our titles takes a serious level of commitment.  I’m speaking to the soccer moms, army wives, business owners, grandmas, executives, secretaries and single-parents.  You probably manage several titles that define your identity on the home front or in the community.

One day, while in Mom-Mode I had an epiphany with my only child, a teenage son.  He was caught-up in the frenzy of my fast tracked multitasking when he reached his level of max-overload.  “WOMAN”, he shouted, “I just can’t go any faster”.  My head spun around as I instantly felt insulted by this common title.  “What did you call me, I sputtered…how dare you…do not ever refer to me as WOMAN again, is that clear!?”  It was a memorable mother-son moment.  Although he insisted that it wasn’t intended to be derogatory, I remained offended.  The nerve!  When you’ve sacrificed for someone to assure their success you expect to be addressed in a more dignified manner.  Most moms recognize that children exhibit negative behavior just to get a rise out of them.  Apparently, I had thrown down the gauntlet for negative attention.  In the weeks to follow WOMAN made several encore performances.  He’d deliver it with cheekiness and humor but I’d receive it with affront.  It wasn’t a title I felt akin to, in fact, it suggested disrespect for all I do and all I am in his life.  But, I wondered… might this be one of those proverbial battles I should not choose to fight? 

It reminded me of working as an Administrative Assistant to the President of a company early in my career.  During an important business meeting he referred to me as ‘his gal Friday’.  I was mortified and thought the top of my head would fly off.  The next day I went to his office and respectfully corrected his faux pas, but he insisted that I was being overly sensitive.  Along those lines I resented being referred to as “The-Ex” by my son’s father.  It put a negative slant on a temporary former title rather than celebrating the more important permanent one.  “Why not just refer to me as your Son’s Mom?”  He looked at me as if I had two heads and continued to call me his ex whenever he got the chance.  In retrospect, I see that as another example of child-like negative attention seeking.  Hmmm, there seems to be a pattern emerging in my reaction to other-imposed titles & labels.

This questionable new title of WOMAN motivated me to reflect on the word and see why it bugged me so much?  I reached the conclusion that it was generic and lacked the exclusivity that I deserved.  After all, my son is the only person on this earth who owns the privilege of calling me Mom, Mother, Ma, or Mommy.

I now understand that many people in our lives unwittingly bestow titles upon us.  Titles determine the level of respect you receive and sometimes this can be very subjective.  In fact, common words, when used as titles hold great power in their ability to define us.  Titles can become labels, some that we enjoy and others …not so much; consider the effect of calling someone old, smart, large, beautiful, divorced, Christian, depressed, sassy, independent, needy, hot, moody…the list is endless.  We might tag a title on someone and not realize that they’ve received it with affront.  This simple revelation holds much merit.  You see, it’s not what we say; it’s what they hear!  I’ve learned to tread carefully when defining anyone’s worth by their title.

Consider the optimistic or pessimistic definition attached to your titles.  You can acquire personal growth and freedom by recognizing both sides of anyone’s coin. 

I’ve stopped taking offense at being called WOMAN; if truth be told, I’ve decided it puts me in very fine company.

Lisbeth Anne Marín is a Motivational Training Consultant and Public Speaker specializing in interpersonal and organizational development skills.  She presents a wide array of staff development training programs, motivational seminars and interactive human resource workshops. 

To view a syllabus of topics on which training programs can be provided, please visit the website, www.lisbethanne.com or call 910.867.3163 to discuss your staff development training goals.  The website also features a gallery of award winning designs and products celebrating Lisbeth’s artistic side.