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Destination
Inspiration
January 2009
Friendly Fire
By Lisbeth
Anne Marín
Motivational
Speaker
Professional
Development Consultant
When counting
my blessings, it isn’t long before I scroll down the list to friends.
I’ve been lavishly blessed with a diverse palette of people. Lest I be
misconstrued, permit me to establish my conviction to mingle, exchange
niceties and share warm howdydos. In fact, I’ve cultivated a reputation
of being friendly to the masses I motivate in my profession.
But,
lately I’ve noticed a rampant misuse of the title
Friend. By my definition,
these are the select humans who’ve met the inner monster, complete with
chartreuse reptilian skin. They still love me, even when I’m
uncensored, authentic and raw…can you imagine! With friends at this
level, I can fuss, pontificate, disapprove, counsel or freak-out…and,
within reason, it’s OK. Despite those moments, we share a complex inner
sanctum that includes a deep faith in The Lord, with whom all things are
possible! And, I’m apt to believe you’ve counted on a
Best
Friend
Forever
to gather your haggard pieces or celebrate triumphs in the journey.
Occasionally,
friendships can erupt into an emotional turmoil of epic proportions
and …you’ve got to know when to fold’em.
I recall a valuable friendship that came to an excruciating demise. At
its epicenter was an affair, chock full of details too sordid to list.
It broke my heart and snapped my last straw …concluding in a grave
decision to part ways. Now wait, I’m not suggesting we abandon friends
who slip-up with ordinary mistakes but what can you do when the people
you love simply stop evolving? How do you handle it when they
continually ask for advice but never take it? It’s mighty hard to watch
a friend perpetuate a lifestyle doomed to failure or refuse to put on
her big girl panties and get down to growing up. Maybe you have a
friend who thrives on the drama or permanently paints themselves into
the victim corner. At any age, it’s quite possible to have accumulated
a bevy of buddies who lack the chutzpa to make complex choices?
It’s been my
experience that when people run amuck you’re challenged to segue between
offering support and giving a reality check! I’ve sought solace in the
wise old saying ‘Some things are for a reason, some for a
season and some things, are for a lifetime’. Or maybe, it’s better to
have loved and lost…
With this in
mind, may I offer two reflections; can you bank on your friends to tell
it like it is and are you fulfilling your role? It’s never easy to
conduct a self assessment but some of your friends could sure use one.
Find the courage to tell your friends the truth…remembering that praise
is always done in public and criticism always in privacy. Don’t let
them keep sloshing around the same murky waters without pointing out the
shoreline. I believe ignoring the opportunity for growth, through some
carefully chosen words, is a betrayal of the friendship.
I rest in the
knowledge that I’m never alone on this earth because I’ve cultivated
some deep sistasoulfriends. I savor them, one-touch-dial them with
compliments and make sure they know how fabu there are. A milestone of
maturity is learning how fewer, more significant friendships resound
louder than a multitude of meaningless many. Lavish gratitude upon them
and enter each day grasping the golden ring. In the safety of
friend-love you’ve got a place where you can be totally free!
Exceptional
blessings are not to be taken lightly and in truth, a powerful
life-lesson has been to use discernment with the prestigious title of
Friend! |